


Storytime with Joel and The Bots

by silvernox232



Category: Mystery Science Theater 3000
Genre: Adorable Space Robot Family, Also hot chocolate and warm blankets are involved, Aromantic Headcanons, Aromantic Joel Robinson, Don't judge. Wars have been started over sillier things, Fluff, Gen, I just really loved the idea of the couch on the bridge and wanted to wrap up what happened to it, SOL Crew, Set a little after Women from the Prehistoric Planet, Submission for AggressivelyArospecWeek 2017, To explain the couch really, Yes that was truely the starting point for writing this fic, You know it's a gen fic when we break out the hot coco and the blankets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-19
Updated: 2017-06-19
Packaged: 2018-11-15 19:14:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11237439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silvernox232/pseuds/silvernox232
Summary: My submission for AggressivelyArospecWeek2017 over on Tumblr. (http://aggressivelyarospec.tumblr.com/)Late night storytime leads to some confessions between Joel and The Bots. Fluff for the most part. Takes place a few days after the events of "Women of the Prehistoric Planet".





	Storytime with Joel and The Bots

“C’mon, Joel! Hurry up!”

From the Satellite’s kitchen, a slightly muffled voice responded.

“One more minute, Crow! My hot chocolate’s almost done.”

“How long does it take to make one cup of Swiss Miss?” Tom Servo shot back. “It’s like you’ve been in there for hours. Did you fall into the stove again? Do we need to call LifeAlert?”

“You keep up with that sass, Tom, and there’ll be no RAM chips for any of you guys. Now I said a minute and I meant it.”

The Bots both groused for a moment. Then the bridge of the Satellite of Love fell into a restless silence as its robotic crew waited impatiently on their big comfortable couch.

The past few days had really tested the patience of the Satellite’s crew, both robots and human alike. They’d had to sit through a particularly dreadful film called "Women of the Prehistoric Planet" and deal with a doomsday device that did nothing but aggravate them even further. Then, once the experiment was finally over, they ended up flying through a nasty solar storm that resulted in a brief black-out, shorting out many of the Satellite’s essential functions including the heating.

According to Gypsy’s calculations, the Satellite would return to normal after a few days of system updates and reboots. Until then, though, no heat.

To compensate for the coldness, warm blankets and pillows had been dragged out of every nook and cranny and stockpiled onto the bridge. The Bots had their built-in heaters, but the chill of the Satellite mixed with the general frigid coldness of space was more than enough to get everyone to bundle up. Crow and Tom were wrapped up tightly with several multi-color afghans, Gypsy had a bright pink shawl tied up around her head and body, and even Cambot had on a little winter hat made from spare fabric.

Joel Robinson, the sole human occupant of the SOL, walked into the room holding a small stack of books and his coffee mug. He looked to all the world like he’d just come out of a blizzard. He had three different layers of Gizmonics sweaters on over his regular jumpsuit plus a cozy wool jacket. His hands were covered in several gloves, each with a built-in heating unit of his own design. His face was barely recognizable under the length of scarf covering it, but from the warm crinkle lines around his eyes, the Bots could tell that he was actually enjoying the change in climate.

“Peculiar weather we’re having for June, huh?” he joked. “Reminds me of those summer days back in Minneapolis.”

He placed the pile of books down in between Tom and Crow and set off to the far opposite of the room where Cambot lay nestled on a pillow.

“Sure you don’t want to join us, little guy?” asked Joel softly while adjusting the bot’s tiny hat.

The bot narrowed his lens and nestled even deeper, indicating he was comfortable where he was currently.

Joel nodded and gave Cambot a little pat on the head before returning to the couch. The little bot had always been a bit more standoffish by nature, anyway. Always happy to simply be around his family but not directly interact with anyone. Joel could understand that.

Grabbing a heap of blankets, Joel settled himself neatly between Tom and Crow on the couch. He cradled his hot coco in his gloved hands, cherishing the taste of chocolate and appreciating the warmth. It was so warm, in fact, that it was almost enough to put someone to-

“Hey, don’t go to sleep yet!” Tom called out, jerking Joel straight out of his daze.

“Yeah, remember?” said Crow, nudging the pile of books with a small golden claw. “Stories?”

“Stories!” Gypsy exclaimed excitedly.

Storytime was a relatively new tradition on the Satellite of Love. A week ago, when Joel first found the couch in the loading bay, he also came across an old box full of fairy tale and folk lore books. Why they were there in the first place, he never knew why (then again, he’d learned by now to stop asking too many questions when it came to the Satellite anyway).

Originally, he read the stories to test the Bots’ comprehension skills and experiment with how much information they could retain. Overtime, though, storytime turned into less of a lab test and more of a nightly gathering for the residents of the Satellite to take a break. To hear stories that were designed to lift their spirits up rather than break them down. Sure, their evil overlords down in Deep 13 would probably take away both the stories and the couch as it would mess with their data, but for now, everyone on board appreciated their time spent together.

“Well, all right. We’ve got storytime and then a letter from Earth to read after that.” He began to flip through the stack of books. “Which story should we read tonight? We’ve got Little Red Riding Hood, Jack and the Beanstalk, Pinocchio-“

Tom shuddered.

“Never again with that one. Way to traumatize me away from show biz, story.”

“Not me!” said Crow enthusiastically. “Hollywood ain’t seen nothing ‘till they sees the likes of Crow T. Robot! I’ll be up there with the legends. Steven Spielberg, Billy Wilder, Francis Ford Coppola…”

“Yeah, more like Ed Wood, Coleman Francis, and Sandy Frank,” muttered Servo.

“Hey!” Crow squawked indignantly.

“Girl!” croaked Gypsy, distracting everyone from the brewing fight between Crow and Tom. The purple robot pointed her head in the direction of the book stack.

“Do you want us to read a story about a girl, Gypsy?” asked Joel, proud of her for taking the initiative in choosing a book. She was usually so shy and introverted around the rest of the Crew during their nightly storytime.

She nodded her head vigorously. Both Tom and Crow groaned.

“A girl book? Aww Joel? Do we have to?”

“Hey, you should have said something before Gypsy. Besides, I happen to recall that you, Mr. Tom, have chosen the last three stories in a row.”

Servo sighed.

“Alright, we can give Gypsy’s story a try.”

They silently rummaged through the story books, occasionally showing a book to Gypsy only for her to reject each offering.

Crow waved a book in front of Joel’s face.

“Ha-ha. Hey! She looks just like how you used to look!”

On the cover was a young woman with impossibly long blonde hair. Rapunzel.

“Very funny, Mr. Smart Guy,” replied Joel dryly. His right hand ghosted over where his old hair length used to be. That extra hair probably would have helped to keep him a little bit warmer, he lamented.

“What do you think about this one, Gyps?” asked Crow, holding the book up for Gypsy. “She’s got really long hair just like you’ve got a really long coil.”

“Yeah! Yeah!” she responded, nodding her head eagerly.

Crow passed the picture book off to Joel, who then held the book up for Cambot to see.

“You all right with Rapunzel, Cambot?”

The bot’s lens widened and his whole form whirred with excitement. Joel smiled at the quirky response.

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

He quickly drained the remaining dregs of his hot chocolate and set the mug aside.

Cracking open the book, he gave a dignified “Hem” and began:

“Once upon a time in a far-off kingdom…”

And so, Joel recounted the tale of the maiden Rapunzel, of the evil witch who imprisoned the young girl in a tower, and of Rapunzel’s noble prince. He paused occasionally to address any questions and allow for riffing from his captivated audience (that was, after all, what the Bots were originally designed for. To make jokes at stories no matter how good or bad they were. Joel found no point in discouraging them from what they were built to do).

“And Rapunzel and her Prince rode off to the Prince’s kingdom where they lived, happily married and with several wonderful children, for many long and loving years. The End. So, what did you all think of the story?”

“Yay!” exclaimed Gypsy, enthused by the story’s happy ending. Cambot similarly buzzed with delight.

“Thought the second act could’ve been stronger. And that ending? Is it believable in that era that a peasant would marry into nobility? The whole kingdom would be thrown apart by scandal! It would be like Wallis Simpson and King Edward all over again!” Tom argued before adding hesitantly “It was nice that the Prince got his eyesight back, though.”

Crow, meanwhile, seemed to have his focus elsewhere entirely, his ping pong eyes darting everywhere in concentration.

“Crow, buddy, what’d you think of Rapunzel?”

“Wait a second…Joel!” Crow finally cried out. “Joel Joel Joel Joel Joel! Remember how I said you looked like the lady?”

“Yeah, I remember. And I should really have a talk with you about-”

“Oh, I was joking then, but Joel! What if you did grow out your hair long enough so that it could reach Earth? We’d be saved!”

The human could only chuckle at the Bot's suggestion.

“I don’t know if that would work too well,” was all he could respond before laughing again.

“What? Why not?! We’re all basically stuck in a tower like Rapunzel anyway. Let your hair grow out, toss it out the airlock and wait for a wayfaring prince to come and rescue us! C'mon, it’s foolproof!”

“Crow, space and human hair do not work-”

“Oh yeah, and then maybe you and the prince could get married and we could all live in a castle!” Servo chimed in. Joel could honestly not tell whether Tom was being serious or not. “Get ourselves some servants, a few butlers, a swimming pool, the whole nine yards!”

“Marriage? Now that’s the most far-fetched thing you guys have said yet!” snorted Joel, before realizing what he had just said.

He awkwardly coughed and gave an outwardly light laugh. Scratching the back of his head, he hoped for something, anything to change the subject. He really didn’t feel ready to have this conversation yet (if ever).

“What’s so odd about you and marriage, Joel?” Tom inquired innocently.

“Yeah, are you already married or something?” came the follow-up question from Crow.

“Wife?” asked Gypsy.

“No, not married. It’s just, I’ve never considered getting married before. Well, actually…at all. Just never been for me, I guess.”

“How do ya’ figure?” said Crow.

Joel opened his mouth, paused and closed it again, considering what to say next.

To him, it had always been so simple. He had long accepted that he would rather be in a lab cooking up a new gadget or planning his next invention than pursuing any sort of romantic relationship. Romance was about as appealing to him as an arsenic and hamdinger sandwich.

But how do you explain that lack of attraction? The Bots only had a scant understanding of human behavior, most of which came from awful B-movies. Joel would have to choose his words carefully.

“It’s like…some folks have lives and stories a lot like Rapunzel and her Prince,” he finally said. “They find someone who they deeply love all romantic like and they hopefully live happily ever after together. But that’s not everyone’s story.”

“Some folks, myself included, have stories more like…more like Geppetto.”

“What? The old geezer from Pinocchio?” Crow responded incredulously.

“Yeah, does that mean we’re going to get a cricket infestation and Crow’s beak is going to grow longer than it already is?” joked Tom.

“No no. Just that Geppetto is so full of love but not in the same way as Rapunzel is for her Prince. He has more of this wonderful platonic love. A love for his craft. A love for life,” Joel reached over to pat Gypsy on the head. “A love for his creations.”

“Aww,” she said.

“I think the word they were using for that back on Earth was ‘aromantic’.”

“Well, I always thought you smelled lovely,” said Tom.

Joel smiled at the word-play.

“That’s 'aromatic', you goof. And I don’t remember installing any smell sensors in you, either.”

“Wouldn’t be opposed to an upgrade,” Tom quickly replied. “You know, my vocal box still keeps glitching on me from time-to-time.”

“I’ll see what parts I can scavenge to build you a new voice box. Might take a while but we’ll fix it.”

Joel paused and looked upwards.

“Hey, Magic Voice. How are we doing with those system updates? Any estimates?”

“Five more hours, Joel,” chimed a light mechanical but still recognizably female voice over the Satellite’s intercom.

He gave a weary sigh.

“Thanks. Looks like I’ll have to make some actual coffee this time. It’s going to be a long night.” He shifted, getting ready to stand up. “Maybe I’ll sniff out some RAM chips while I’m in the kitchen. Gypsy, honey, you want to help me search for some?”

“But-but Joel?” Crow finally said, still processing what Joel just told them. “If we can’t marry you off, how are we going to convince a wandering prince to save us?”

Joel could hear the worry in the golden bot’s voice. He placed a gloved hand on Crow’s shoulder.

“We don’t need any Prince to save us. Crow, you just came up with an escape plan in minutes! Why would we need a stuffy old prince to get us out when we’ve got a couple of expert jailbreakers right here? We’re all smart enough to get home safely together.”

“Well…” Crow started, reconsidering his plan. “We could always modify the plan so that I climb down your hair to Earth.”

“There we go!”

“Yeah! And then, in a thrilling conclusion to our epic odyssey, I’ll lead an expert commando squadron of elite ninja warriors to infiltrate and bring down Deep 13, getting you all back to Earth! I should really check to make sure my ninja contacts are all up to date…”

“Give me an outline of the plan in the morning and I’ll see what I can do for you, buddy” said Joel, getting ready to return to the kitchen. He stopped, suddenly remembering the letter in his jacket pocket.

“I almost forgot, the Mads sent us a letter before the black-out earlier. There’s not going to be an experiment this week until they get the projector fixed but we can still read it.”

“Who’s it from, Joel?” asked Tom.

“From a Mr.….Isaac Asimov? From Minnesota, Earth?” Joel looked at the address then back at the Bots. “You guys didn’t have anything to do with this, did you?”

They all shook their heads, even Cambot. The human still suspected otherwise.

Joel opened the letter and smiled wider than he had in months.

It was a crayon drawing of a red jump-suited person being hugged by a red gumball machine, a golden bowling ball pin, a purple snake, and a camera on a wire. 

The SOL crew.

Joel felt a tear leak from his eye. Years back on Earth spent in misery, coming to terms with the fact he’d never have a family like he’d often wished for. All that felt immediately shut down by this letter.

Here was his family all along, sticking it out together on a satellite orbiting the Earth. An unconventional family? Sure, but he wouldn’t have it any other way.

The letter simply read:

“HAPPY FATHER’S DAY JOEL ROBINSON!”

**Author's Note:**

> Joel’s honestly really important to me in regards to headcanoning him as aro/ace. Here’s a man who I see as aromantic who has a family and is a wonderful parent to his robot kids. As an aro/ace person who might like to have kids of her own one day, it’s kind of reassuring to know that Aromantics can make for great parents.
> 
> This is also actually my very first fanfiction and probably my first time writing creatively since I was 14 (discounting any songs that I’ve written as writing those feels like a completely different experience). I apologize if the characters seem OOC.


End file.
